Why do Russians refer to strangers as relatives?
‘Bratishka’ (‘little brother’), ‘sestrenka’ (‘little sister’), ‘otets’ (‘father’), ‘mat’ (‘mother’), ‘syn’ (‘son’), ‘dochka’ (‘daughter’), ‘babushka’ (‘grandmother’) – in the Russian language, strangers may address one another using terms of kinship.
This practice is rooted in both linguistic and cultural traditions.
Linguists note that the primary function of this "kinship" language is to establish a special tone of interaction – one that’s relaxed, friendly and, at times, informal or even overly familiar. It instantly bridges the gap between people, shifting the conversation from a formal or neutral to a warm, informal or even chummy one.
The choice of a specific “relative” term reveals a great deal about the speaker. As linguist Maxim Krongauz points out, the way a person addresses another – using terms like ‘mat’, ‘otets’ or ‘bratishka’ – "says a lot about the individual: their level of education, their degree of refinement (or lack thereof), their warmth and their openness". For instance, when used by a stranger, terms like ‘otets’ or ‘mat’ can sound different – ranging from patronizing and friendly to overly familiar. Meanwhile, ‘bratishka’ or ‘sestrenka’ typically signals a friendly approach – sometimes with a hint of condescension and typically directed toward someone who is younger or of equal social status.
The use of kinship terms is no accident. In traditional Russian culture, family relationships served as a model for building connections within the broader community. By addressing a stranger as a relative, the speaker is, in effect, saying: "I do not treat you as a stranger, but as one of 'us' – someone close to me." It’s a way to symbolically bring the other person into one’s own inner circle, fostering an atmosphere of trust and shared belonging.